As retold by Bruce Lowitt

Four Jewish ladies are playing mah jongg.

"You know girls," the first one says, "I have known you all for a long time and there is something I must get off my chest.   I am a kleptomaniac. But don't worry. I have never stolen from you and I never will.  We have been friends for too long."

"Well," the second one says, "since we're having true confessions here, I must tell you something. I am a nymphomaniac. But I have never hit on your husbands for sex and I never will. We have been friends for too long."

"Umm," the third one says, "I, too, have a confession to make. I am a lesbian. But do not worry. I will never hit on any of you. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship."

"I have a confession to make, too," the fourth one says. I am a Yenta. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make."