As retold by Bruce Lowitt

Mendelbaum is visiting London. He enters a fancy-schmancy gourmet food store and a sales representative, in a long morning coat with tie and tails, approaches.

"May I be of help to you, sir?"

"Yes," Mendelbaum says. "I'd like a pound of lox."

"Sorry, sir. Do you mean smoked salmon?"

"Okay, fine. A pound of smoked salmon."

"Anything else, sir?"

"Yes, a dozen blintzes."

"I believe you mean crepes, sir."

"Yeah, whatever. A dozen crepes."

"Anything else, sir?"

"Also a pound of chopped liver."

"You are probably referring to pate, sir."

"Yeah, yeah. A pound of pate. And I want it all delivered on Saturday."

"I'm sorry, sir. We don't schlep all this chazzerai on Shabbos."