As retold by Bruce Lowitt

The orthodox, conservative and reform rabbis - Schlossberg, Schwartz and Gold - are schmoozing at their regular Sunday morning breakfast get-together.

"We have such a problem with squirrels at Congregation B'nai Jacob," Schlossberg says. "The shammos sets all kinds of baited traps but they keep coming back. Do either of you learned men know how I can get rid of them?"

"We have the same problem at Congregation Or Zarua," Schwartz says. "We've spent all kinds of gelt on exterminators but the squirrel problem still persists. Any suggestions?"

"Gentlemen," Gold says, "we had the same problem with squirrels at Temple Ahavat Shalom. We tried traps, exterminators, even prayers. Nothing worked. Then one night, after services were over, I had an idea.

"The next Shabbat I went to the temple about an hour before services started. I brought a big bowl of acorns and nuts and placed it in the center of the bima. Soon, dozens of squirrels appeared on the bima and headed for the bowl. While they were noshing, I bar-mitzvahed all of them. I haven't seen one squirrel in temple since."