Jewish Sightseeing HomePage Jewish Sightseeing

2006-07-04—Punch lines....And Their Jokes, No. 98

 
Jewish humor


Punch lines

Punch lines, Volume 2

 


Famous Jewish Punch lines

98. "I want her to go
crazy looking for it"

jewishsightseeing.com,  July 4, 2006


As retold by Bruce Lowitt

Sadie, married for forty years to a wealthy businessman, decides to have her portrait painted.

"You should paint me exactly as I am," she tells the artist before her first sitting. "These wrinkles? You put them on your canvas. The bags my eyes, the  flab on my arms, the wattle on my neck, the varicose veins, the splotches, everything. Paint them all. But I want you to add a lot of jewelry -gold necklaces, a diamond ring. No. make that six diamond rings, three on each hand. And a diamond tiara. Do you understand?"

"Sure," the artist says, "but do you mind if I ask why?"

"Because if I die die before my husband does, I know he's going to go out and find himself a new wife, probably some blonde chickie half his age. She's going to see this painting with all the jewelry. And I want her to go crazy looking for it."