As retold by Bruce Lowitt

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus, then clutches her chest and says to the young girl seated in front of her, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat."

The girl gets up and gives up her seat, then takes her magazine and starts fanning herself.

The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that so I could cool off."

The girl gives her the magazine.

Several minutes go by, then the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, "I want to get off right here."

The bus driver says she has to wait until he gets to the next stop, a block away.

She clutches her chest again and tells him, "If you knew what I have, you'd let me off right now."

The bus driver pulls over, opens the door and tells her she can get off the bus. As she steps down he says, "Ma'am, I hope you don't mind my asking, but what is it you have?"

And the woman says, "Chutzpah!"