By Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO — Singles columnist Dana Greene, 32,  wanted to make certain that she heard the quote correctly, so she asked Dr. Robert Matorin, 33, to please repeat his question.

Matorin, not knowing what to think, complied:  “Will you marry me?” he asked again.

”Yes!” replied the journalist.  Apparently wanting to ensure that the physician did not misunderstand her quote, she added: “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

His marriage proposal came last May 12 on a trip to Key West, Florida, for which Matorin had carefully prepared, only to see the moment he had planned to “pop the question” disappear in the sunset, forcing him to improvise..
 
Matorin had purchased an engagement ring for Greene before the outdoors-loving couple left San Diego on a Florida adventure.  He had locked the ring in its box in a compartment of his backpack that he hoped she would not notice. 

On the morning of the big day, they went tandem parasailing. With the two of them literally riding on the winds of fate together, Greene strongly felt the romance of the moment.  She had been pretty certain—but of course could not be absolutely positive—that he might propose on this trip.  If so, wasn’t the sky above this island, from which they looked  down at the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico,  a perfect place? 

Matorin, however, did not ask his question there—and for a very practical reason.  He wasn’t about to risk dropping the engagement ring into one or the other of those two big seas.  In fact, the ring was still in the backpack, back at the hotel

Key West is a fabled little island.  Ernest Hemingway used to hang out there.  So did President Harry S. Truman at his “vacation White House.”  The southernmost point of the continental United States, it is only 90 miles from Cuba.  It is the Margaritaville of Jimmy Buffet and the resting place of the treasures from the Spanish treasure ship Atosha, pulled up from the deep by Mel Fisher and his band of adventurers.  It even has a San Diego connection as the home of Historic Tours of America, the parent company of Old Town Trolley Tours of San Diego. Possibly fabled above all else are Key West’s sunsets, which are celebrated every night on the beach and on yachts which slip from the harbors to glory in the sun’s descent into the waters of the Gulf.

Matorin had decided that he would ask Greene to become his bride at exactly sunset, on one of those luxurious dinner cruises on which a musician plays classical selections on a hammered dulcimer.  While she readied her camera, tripod, and other photographic equipment to take on the excursion, he secreted the ring in its box into his front pants pocket.  But as they headed for the dinner boat,  she noticed something bulging.  “What’s that in your pocket?” she asked in a Mae West, Key West moment.  He eluded her inquiries, walking the rest of the way to the boat with his hands in his pockets.

At last diverted, Greene set up her camera on the boat, and insisted on photographing not only the sunset, but, with the use of a remote control device, Sthem together.  As she snapped photograph after photograph, the sun dropped lower and lower. 

It had been Greene’s energy, vivaciousness, and insatiable curiosity that Matorin had found so appealing “in addition to the “physical attraction”—so he could not really blame her for exhibiting those very same tendencies at that moment. But he was silently becoming more and more frustrated.  Couldn’t she just sit down quietly for a few seconds? so he could ask?  They were on the bow and as the ship turned its stern to the setting sun to privilege more passengers with the view of the sizzling moment when the sun seems to dip into the water,  Matorin thought his moment also had arrived.  

He just started to open his mouth when a nice middle aged couple from Canada struck up a conversation with Greene.  The moment was lost.  Matorin wondered if that meant it really wasn’t meant to be.  Hadn’t he in the past pursued Greene so many times only to see her slip from his grasp? 

* * *

Three years before, he had first contacted her via the internet dating service, J-Date, but although they exchanged messages, nothing came of it.  Greene later explained that “Dr. Robert,” as she likes to call him,  had been too tentative, too unwilling to reveal much of himself, to sustain her interest at the time.  Back then, she was looking for a “man with a plan” – someone bold enough to propose a date – and Matorin was too shy.  Her other J-Date correspondents were more assertive.

Some time later, the Jewish Community Center hosted a “rocket dating” event in which men and women formed an inner and outer ring and each man got to speak with each woman for a few minutes.  At the end of the session, they listed the identification numbers of the persons whom they would like to see again.   If the numbers matched, organizers would arrange an introduction.  Matorin indicated Greene on his card; she indicated someone else, another physician.

It turned out that Greene and that other physician went on a date to another Jewish community event, a Shabbat dinner for singles.  They were seated at a large round table with other attendees, Matorin among them.  According to the singles columnist, her date made the mistake that all too many men make: he monopolized the conversation. He talked about himself, and didn’t ask her any questions at all.  She turned to the man sitting on her other side –Matorin-- and for a few moments spoke with him about one of her favorite subjects—adventure travel. 

Matorin wanted to ask her out, but the other physician was an acquaintance, and he felt it would be inappropriate to make a move. So other than to send her an email that he enjoyed talking with her, he did nothing.

So, they continued to date other people; Greene unaware of the intensity of Matorin’s interest.  In September 2004, at a bonfire at Mission Beach organized by the Young Adult Division of the United Jewish Federation, they met again.  Greene was in the company of another physician, with whom Matorin also was acquainted.  She also had her dog Brindle with her.  Again they talked about their common interest in adventure travel; Matorin unknowingly impressing her with stories about his adventures hiking the Inca Trail in Peru.

”I was so impressed that he did that,” Greene recalled. “A  real adventure.  He was really open to trying new things.  That made an impresion on me.”

Then came the occasion that almost killed their romance before it ever started.   At a singles dinner organized by the San Diego Jewish Dinner Club, Matorin was seated at the end of a long table in a restaurant with several seats open near him.  Greene came in, looked over his way, and then took a seat at the other end of the long table.

It was pretty clear to Matorin that “that was the ultimate blow off.”  Obviously, she had no interest in him at all.  Dejectedly, he decided to cross her off his list.  But as the group was leaving the restaurant, Greene came up to him to say hello and to ask how he was doing.   He later learned that it was not him she didn’t want to sit near, but another man, who had been sitting near him. 

Greene had broken up with the physician who had escorted her to the bonfire.  The singles columnist decided to take her own advice about not moping around and being depressed after a break up.  She called the organizer of the dinner club and asked for Matorin’s phone number.  The organizer said she would have to get permission from Matorin to give it to her.  Unwilling to give up the initiative, Greene decided to check another source—the phone book.  Why people don’t go there first is a mystery.

She reached his answering machine, which had the message, “We are not here right now…”  We?  Could he have a live-in girlfriend?  Greene decided she had better be cautious.  In a business like way, she said she would like to talk to him.  Please give her a call.   It was the kind of tone that might have meant she wanted to interview him for her column, or to discuss an upcoming event at the Young Adult Division.   It turned out Matorin just used “we” as a precaution to throw off any would-be thief who might be thinking of burglarizing his apartment.  “You know, security in numbers,” he explained
Before listening to the answering machine, however, Matorin had read the email from the dinner organizer.  “I was very excited,” he said.

When at last they talked on the phone on a Friday, Greene told him she was glad to have seen him that other night.  Matorin took the plunge.  “We should go out some time,” he ventured.  “How about tomorrow night?” she responded, obviously not being coy about the fact that her Saturday night was unaccustomedly open. 

”Hell, yeah!” Matorin agreed.

Their first date was a dinner at a restaurant in the Hillcrest area.  On the second date, they attended an opening of a photographic exhibition at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center.  On the third date, they want for a hike—and then he went over to the home of her parents, Norman and Bobby Greene, to help her get some boxes out of storage.  The fourth date was the big one.  following a movie,  they went to a restaurant in Mission Valley, where because no tables were readily available, they sat at the bar and talked and talked over martinis and appetizers.

”I remember looking at him and thinking this is really a great guy,” Greene said.  “And I  really want to go to the next stage…”

* *

As they walked from the Key West dinner boat, the ring still in his pocket, Matorin remembered a place known as Mallory Square where there are stores and various kinds of activities.  When they got there, it was pretty quiet, save for a strong acrobat who was hanging upside down on chains. 

Chains?  What kind of omen was that for a marriage?  But this time, nothing would stop Matorin.  “My heart was racing,” he said.  “I put the ring on her finger as I was asking her the question.”   And after she answered, “she became very watery eyed.”

Matorin, the son of Sidney and Sharon Matorin of Camarillo, Calif., and Greene plan  to be married Feb. 17 at Congregation Beth Israel, in a ceremony to be officiated by her rabbi from Congregation Ohr Shalom, Rabbi Scott Meltzer.

The singles columnist had not announced her engagement—until now—so that she could continue writing a “singles” column.  But now, with marriage approaching, she and Mike Sirota, editor-in-chief of the San Diego Jewish Times, have been exploring the possibility of a  new column format, sort of a “Mad About You” column in which Greene will be able to write about the situations confronting  both singles and young marrieds.

In the meantime, Greene and Matorin are planning a honeymoon that promises more adventures.  The itinerary?  The Maldives, Sri Lanka and exploring the Jewish community of Cochin, India.