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Somber ceremony under chuppah
symbolizes bride's destruction in Shoah


 Jewishsightseeing.com, April 25, 2006




By Donald H. Harrison


SAN DIEGO— Under the wedding canopy, there was a momentary pause—expectation built—and a wine glass was smashed under foot. No one said, "Mazal tov!"  The action simply ended a ceremony that did not unite two people but instead commemorated what could never be.

There is a Central and Eastern European Jewish tradition that when a young woman dies between the time of her betrothal and her wedding, a ceremony is held in which the groom honors her by sanctifying God's name.  He does so under a wedding canopy that is black, instead of white.

Members of the New Life Club of Holocaust Survivors conducted two Yom HaShoah ceremonies Monday evening, April 24, in the sanctuary of Tifereth Israel Synagogue, where many of them regularly pray.  The first was the lighting of memorial candle lighting by members who survived various concentration camps.  

The second,  utilizing a booklet created by Jewish theological student  David M. Freidenreich, was modeled on the ceremony of the black chuppah.  However, in this case, it was not the loss of a single bride, but the murder of the Six Million that was being commemorated .In this unique Yom HaShoah service, six readers stood in for God, the 
Holocaust survivor Gussie Zaks emcees a ceremony in which
Max and Rose Schindler light a memorial candle for the victims
of Auschwitz concentration camp.



groom, but not all of them voiced sympathy for God's loss. Some blamed God for it.

Conservative Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal helped orient the congregation by reading an introduction in the   Kiddushin—A service for Yom ha-Shaoh booklet—and violinist Eileen Wingard provided various mourning and wedding melodies called for in the script.  Readers 1 through 6, drawn from the ranks of survivors, their children, and congregants,  respectively were Carlo Ellis, Barbara Jacobs, Margaret Benedict, Jack Morgenstern, Rose Schindler and Sally Scheinok

As the hour-long ceremony moved through four stages—betrothal (in which six candles are lit),  sanctification,  memorial candles, and the seven blessings—differences in the way the six readers perceived the Holocaust, and God, began to emerge.  At times these differences were subtle, at times they were striking.  All of the readers believed in God, but some were so angry that they said things one might never expect to hear in the sanctuary of a synagogue.

The first reader voices traditionally pious sentiments. This reader recites El Moleh Rachamim, the prayer normally said at a burial or memorial occasion.  Reader No. 1 quotes to us comforting stories from the Talmud and Torah.  A bride whose husband has disappeared takes comfort in the words of her wedding contract which state: "I shall return to you, I shall maintain my covenant with you, I shall be ever-present with you."

The second reader believes that God suffered right along with the Jews during the Holocaust..  "Since God is not subject to any limitation, God's suffering from Israel's troubles is also boundless," Reader No. 2 also philosophizes.  "It is not merely that it would be impossible for a person to endure the experience of such great suffering, but even to conceive of God's suffering is impossible."

Reader No. 3 is disappointed in God.  Taught that other nations rejected God's marriage proposal at Sinai, the third reader says, "Had we known then what we know now, perhaps we too should have refused your offer."  At this point Reader No. 3 extinguishes one of the candles.  Before the ceremony is concluded, all six candles will be snuffed, to be replaced by a large yahrzeit candle.  "The thread uniting God and humanity, heaven and earth, has been broken," this reader believes. "We stand in a cold, silent unfeeling cosmos...After Auschwitz, what else can a Jew say about God?"

The fourth reader accuses God of abandoning the Jews, hurling at God words of bitter irony  "If God were not full of mercy, mercy would have been in the world, not just in God." Reader No. 4 also suggests that there is no theology after Auschwitz, that the numbers tattooed on the arms of the inmates "are the telephone numbers of God, numbers that do not answer and now are disconnected, one by one."

Reader No. 5 has seen but makes no pretense of comprehending.  This reader retells the story of a boy being hanged by his Nazi captors; his youthful body so light it takes more than a half hour of agonizing struggle before he dies before the helpless eyes of fellow concentration camp inmates. Where is God as this transpires?  The reader reports hearing one voice saying that God was the one hanging there on the gallows.  Reader No. 5 has a haunting question of God: not just individuals but whole communities were murdered.  "But have they become united with you in eternal life, or have you become united with them in their eternal deaths?"

Reader No. 6 is the angriest of all.  "For the time being choose another people; we have run out of blood for victims..." this reader tells God.  The reader also accuses God of being an abusive father, adding "Avinu Malkenu, you have sinned before us."  Reader No. 6 also suggests that theology was one of the biggest victims of the Holocaust—"the Jews who died in the Shoah have now come to be like their God, who has no likeness of a body and has no body."

The last part of the service—the Seven Blessings—may be recited by the readers or any members of the congregation. They praise God for creating a world reflecting God's glory, for fashioning humanity, for helping mourners find happiness in their children, for causing bride and groom to rejoice.

Before the wine glass is placed on the floor, Reader No. 3—who previously said the threat between humanity and God was broken— recants this belief by pronouncing the final blessing:

"God, you created the fruit of the vine to make the human heart happy, to sanctify those days that are holy between us, to celebrate the wedding of bride and groom. Yet on this day, dedicated to the memory of those murdered in the Shoah, we cannot celebrate or rejoice. To their blood, with which they sanctified their relationship with you, we add our tears. That must suffice."