The First Time I Turned 20 directed by Lorraine Levy, France, 2004, 93 minutes, 35mm, French with subtitles

By Donald H. Harrison

There is one thing that Hannah Goldman (Marilou Berry) does not have that the members of the high school Jazz Band do.   A penis.

And although one usually does not play a double bass with such an appendage, that was enough for the boys not to want her in the award-winning, touring jazz band.  Thus begins a battle-of-the-sexes story in which the fight is completely unfair.  Hannah has tremendous talent, keen wit, and a stick-to-itiveness—and how, after all, can a penis, or even four of them,  prevail over attributes such as these?

Hannah, 16, supposes that had she been beautiful, instead of being overweight and far less chic than her two sisters, that the boys would have accepted her immediately, and perhaps even have competed with each other for her smile.  Her family reasons with her that if she wants to feel better about herself, she should slim down.  Hannah responds with an unfortunately too true  observation that first she has to feel better about herself, and only then she can slim down!

But she does not wallow in self-pity over her weight; instead she spends long hours alone, honing her musical skill, excelling instead of conforming.  Thus the movie is a French affirmation of the cliché that "nerds" often grow up to become the most interesting people—a la Bill Gates—whereas the conformists in high school become part of the undifferentiated masses as adults.   



To discourage Hannah, the boys try various weapons—sexual harassment, anti-Semitism, on-stage humiliation—but although they succeed in hurting her feelings, they only strengthen, rather than weaken, her resolve. Admiring her spirit, the walls of the trumpet player begin to crumble (O Joshua!), producing some friction in the male ranks.  

There were two moments in the film I particularly enjoyed. After her audition, Hannah rushes to the bathroom to attend to her jittery stomach.  "Do you need the nurse?" she is asked. "No, the morgue, to save time," is her riposte.

The other was a tender moment among Hannah and her sisters.  One who is particularly beautiful confesses that she actually envies Hannah.  Yes, the sister knows she has good looks, but says Hannah also could obtain beauty, just by determining that is what she really wants.. On the other hand,  how could the sister ever make herself intelligent?

Yeah, that's right, you think, but then, wait a minute!  Anybody who makes such a perceptive comment must already be intelligent. Hmmm.

Are you wondering about the title of film?  Sorry.  It's only explained at the end.

The First Time I Turned 20 will be presented twice during the 16th Annual San Diego Jewish Film Festival: at 6:15 p.m., Saturday, February 18, at the Poway UltraStar, and at 7 p.m., Sunday, February 19, at the AMC La Jolla Theatres.